MOWING APPLES and SALESPEOPLE
I went out and mowed the yard today. I have apple trees that I don't tend so well, and so when it comes this time of year loads of apples are laying about on the ground, and thus... get mowed over.
They have been sitting around a while so they have fermented, so about 10 minutes into mowing I am surrounded by this stinky vinegar scent, its not overwhelming, but nearly unpleasant.
Until I started thinking about what that smell meant. A new season coming, an old season exiting again. And those apples are mine. They are rotten on the ground, but they are mine. Its not a huge block of land, but enough. Suddenly I was awash in the satisfaction of what that smell meant. Home. And I liked it.
************
Baxter's condition has improved some today. So Alex, his sister, step daughter to I, the evil step-dad, took over the babysitting gig. Ang wanted to head out to grab a book. What I expected to be a chore, turned out to be a real enjoyable afternoon with many a story to tell.
Ang and I went to the mall, and it began at the book store. An author of a book was there signing books, and approached her, made a cursory comment to engage her, and proceeded to ask her why she thought men made bad decisions. We looked at each other and laughed. It only got funnier from there. I excused myself immediately, and heard her let him have an ear full as I proceeded across the store. It began beginning with "Because Men Are..." I know how that comment ends, and you can probably guess. Not for a moment did I think she would buy his book.
A few minutes later, she walks up with a book. HIS BOOK! I died laughing. Sometimes, when your entertained by a salesman, you just cant say no. Those are valuable sales to them and valuable moments for you. We got his signature on the way out and proceeded out. "If he sold my wife a book about why men make stupid mistakes, (a question my wife clearly knows the answer to) then he earned it.
Next stop, phone stores. Wifey is now tired of Verizon. She gets tired of and ultimately hates certain goods and services providers and moves on to the next best thing with out a blink, IE... Wal-Mart... ATT... and now Verizon. Something they did got in her craw. What was it? Well, It doesn't matter what... just that they did.
We floated from store to store, including Verizon, because I wanted to check options and availability. T-Mobile, is where we ended up buying. During the young man's sales pitch (his name was Dan), a young lady inserted herself into the sale, obviously being the backup "It's OK to buy" person. Well, we were doing fine with Dan, and she was quite chatty and proceeded to ask if my wife and I were "comfortable" with technology and compared us to her mom, who is 51 and has difficulty with technology, but was able to pick up "X" phone example, and use it with nearly no problem.
I felt it, the humorous tension of me wanting to laugh right in her face, and resisting the urge to look my wife in the face, because I knew she wanted to do the same thing.
She just called us old. Not so much in the words, but in her tone, we practically had one foot in the grave and should only have the simplest phone available to call back with once we reached the other side. I almost asked her if she had one with a rotary dial... but I realized she probably didn't know what a rotary dial was. I effectively turned my attention to Dan asking him direct questions. She got the picture and left.
Well, phones have come a long way, and I bumped up a few models to one that takes clips, pics, and plays music, and has a radio and guess what... it has a phone in it too, but with out a rotary dial. My wife, knowing me as well as she does knew I would like to personalize it, with a casing that's flashy or fitting to my personality. We went to the little phone accessory kiosk store down the mall to get a sampling.
There was a young Russian (I think) fellow maybe young to Mid 20s. He saw my old, drab, worn out, much in need of replacement holster for my cell and said, "What is this!!!" He literally grabbed me and tore the holster from my pocket, threw it down (it was empty). I reached to recover it, he said, "Leave it! You don't need it!" and emptied his own holster. "You see I have 750.00 cell phone, best of line. And you see what I keep it in. This holder... It has this clip, this and this clip, you can do this, and you know why? It's the best I have. For $20.00 you can have same holder for your phone." I was amazed, first... he touched me, and I'm not crazy about strangers touching me. Second, he made perfect sense. I looked at my wife, and said, give the man 20.00. He earned it.
Instruction of the day: Don't play with elephants.
Why? They kill people when they are ticked off. And you never know when someone has been jabbing an elephant that your about to ride with a stick.
Origin of lesson: I have seen "When Animals Attack!!!"
They have been sitting around a while so they have fermented, so about 10 minutes into mowing I am surrounded by this stinky vinegar scent, its not overwhelming, but nearly unpleasant.
Until I started thinking about what that smell meant. A new season coming, an old season exiting again. And those apples are mine. They are rotten on the ground, but they are mine. Its not a huge block of land, but enough. Suddenly I was awash in the satisfaction of what that smell meant. Home. And I liked it.
************
Baxter's condition has improved some today. So Alex, his sister, step daughter to I, the evil step-dad, took over the babysitting gig. Ang wanted to head out to grab a book. What I expected to be a chore, turned out to be a real enjoyable afternoon with many a story to tell.
Ang and I went to the mall, and it began at the book store. An author of a book was there signing books, and approached her, made a cursory comment to engage her, and proceeded to ask her why she thought men made bad decisions. We looked at each other and laughed. It only got funnier from there. I excused myself immediately, and heard her let him have an ear full as I proceeded across the store. It began beginning with "Because Men Are..." I know how that comment ends, and you can probably guess. Not for a moment did I think she would buy his book.
A few minutes later, she walks up with a book. HIS BOOK! I died laughing. Sometimes, when your entertained by a salesman, you just cant say no. Those are valuable sales to them and valuable moments for you. We got his signature on the way out and proceeded out. "If he sold my wife a book about why men make stupid mistakes, (a question my wife clearly knows the answer to) then he earned it.
Next stop, phone stores. Wifey is now tired of Verizon. She gets tired of and ultimately hates certain goods and services providers and moves on to the next best thing with out a blink, IE... Wal-Mart... ATT... and now Verizon. Something they did got in her craw. What was it? Well, It doesn't matter what... just that they did.
We floated from store to store, including Verizon, because I wanted to check options and availability. T-Mobile, is where we ended up buying. During the young man's sales pitch (his name was Dan), a young lady inserted herself into the sale, obviously being the backup "It's OK to buy" person. Well, we were doing fine with Dan, and she was quite chatty and proceeded to ask if my wife and I were "comfortable" with technology and compared us to her mom, who is 51 and has difficulty with technology, but was able to pick up "X" phone example, and use it with nearly no problem.
I felt it, the humorous tension of me wanting to laugh right in her face, and resisting the urge to look my wife in the face, because I knew she wanted to do the same thing.
She just called us old. Not so much in the words, but in her tone, we practically had one foot in the grave and should only have the simplest phone available to call back with once we reached the other side. I almost asked her if she had one with a rotary dial... but I realized she probably didn't know what a rotary dial was. I effectively turned my attention to Dan asking him direct questions. She got the picture and left.
Well, phones have come a long way, and I bumped up a few models to one that takes clips, pics, and plays music, and has a radio and guess what... it has a phone in it too, but with out a rotary dial. My wife, knowing me as well as she does knew I would like to personalize it, with a casing that's flashy or fitting to my personality. We went to the little phone accessory kiosk store down the mall to get a sampling.
There was a young Russian (I think) fellow maybe young to Mid 20s. He saw my old, drab, worn out, much in need of replacement holster for my cell and said, "What is this!!!" He literally grabbed me and tore the holster from my pocket, threw it down (it was empty). I reached to recover it, he said, "Leave it! You don't need it!" and emptied his own holster. "You see I have 750.00 cell phone, best of line. And you see what I keep it in. This holder... It has this clip, this and this clip, you can do this, and you know why? It's the best I have. For $20.00 you can have same holder for your phone." I was amazed, first... he touched me, and I'm not crazy about strangers touching me. Second, he made perfect sense. I looked at my wife, and said, give the man 20.00. He earned it.
Instruction of the day: Don't play with elephants.
Why? They kill people when they are ticked off. And you never know when someone has been jabbing an elephant that your about to ride with a stick.
Origin of lesson: I have seen "When Animals Attack!!!"
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